My First Real Police Wahala

It was one of those days when you wake up pretty early and you find it hard to go back to sleep. I wasn’t really bothered though, I had defended my project the preceding day so I was a bit free at the time playing the waiting game as regards my final BSc. result and my NYSC call up letter. My cousin called me at about 5.30am though I was kinda shocked when I picked up but it was obvious he was glad I picked up. He needed me to help him get to the bank to meet up with his friend who worked there to collect some forex for his trip to the UK (He was already checking in at the airport at the time) and bring them over to the airport. After picking up the forex, his friend gave me some naira (about 450k) to also give him because he was unable to change them into pounds. I took all the money to the airport and when I met with my cousin he asked that I help take part of the Naira to his wife and deposit the rest in his account.

I was wearing a pair combat of shorts (glad I did) and I stashed the dough in both side pockets and walked ahead to get a cab enroute Ojodu Berger. Got a cab and on getting to Ojodu we were stopped by policemen, they asked me to come down. I obliged and on seeing the bulging parts of my shorts one of the officers asked me to empty my pockets and as I was doing so another one shouted “ewooo”, asking what I was doing with such amount of money. That wasn’t even the funny part, what made me laugh was when another officer said didn’t I know I wasn’t supposed to be carrying this huge amount of money and that money over N50,000 (fifty thousand naira) should be moved about in a Bullion Van. I wanted to laugh but I held my peace because these cops could be trigger happy. They said I had to follow them to the station. One of them jumped into the cab with me and when we got to the station I settled the cab man and went in with the police men.

They took me to a room which wasn’t their usual counter and asked for my ID card. As I was bringing out my ID card I knew it was going to be a long day with these dudes. They never believe there are good guys or girls from Naija’s best University (go figure).. Greatest Nigerian Students (GREAT). The guy I handed my ID to immediately said I know say na yahoo yahoo boy na hin you be and as I was trying to convince him otherwise, another officer hit my shoulder with a baton. I asked him what my offence was and he asked me to shut up. They went through my call log and texts messages to find anything that could implicate me. I asked if I could call someone to bail me and they let me. I spoke to Big Yomz (Y’all remember him?, check articles past) and he assured me he would join me shortly.

The policemen kept telling me all sorts like how they caught scammers and the likes, trying to put some fear in me, but on seeing I wasn’t panicking one of them took me outside and asked if I was willing to get out of the mess by dropping some of the cash. I laughed this time and he asked why I was laughing, I told him I can’t drop 10kobo out of the money because it wasn’t mine and that I could only wish it was. He now said when my cousin comes I would settle him and I just smiled. He held on to both my phones. My cousin came 30 minutes later with a family friend and they asked that I relaxed where I was. They went to see the D.P.O who had just woken up when they were talking to him, he asked one of his men to go and bring me in. I still don’t know what my cousin said to the D.P.O till date but the D.P.O apologized to me and said he would deal with the officers because they didn’t report what I was charged for to their superiors. Boy was I glad, when we were about leaving I couldn’t find the dude with my phones. On getting to the exit of the D.P.O’s office I heard someone whisper in a corner stretching his palms out for some cash. It was the dude with my phone, I just shouted at him oga give me my phones jor and he gave them to me immediately, eyeing me in the process.

I don’t know if the D.P.O dealt with the officers but I thank GOD I wasn’t shot or jailed.

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