Victoria: That Girl

The alarm sounded at exactly 5 a.m and I got up to sing a few gospel choruses as I always do when I remember to (GOD forgive me) before praying. After praying I brushed my teeth and had a cold bath (I so much hate early morning baths). After the bath, I dressed up to head out for work, err before nko. I wan dress up for house duty ni? I was hoping I would meet my cousin at the bus stop where he usually picked me. On getting to the bus stop my cousin called to tell me he wasn’t feeling too well so I had to find my way. As I was walking to catch a bus, a car (2013 Camry) kept honking its horn at me (well I knew it was me because I was the only person around that territory). I bent to see if it was someone I knew but it wasn’t, it was a fine chic though and as a shy boy I continued my waka. She kept horning and rolled down to ask if I was going to the Island and I said yes. She asked me to hop in which I did without thinking, ah obinrin.

I was thinking what if this was a kidnap and my other mind was like kidnap bawo. This babe kidnap me? I go so beat am ehn, lol. We continued our journey in silence and as I no sabi toast woman, I grabbed my blackberry and started pinging, gisting my friends about how I am chopping the life of my head. Traffic on third mainland bridge halted our movement a bit and as I raised my head to see if it was serious the babe just snatched my phone from me and said I wasn’t being fair. I apologised and she asked me to gist her. Na there the wahala start, I am not used to all these kind of things o, gist ke. I asked her about what and she said about myself. I told her my name was Dipo, I am 6’3, I love food, playing and watching football, I am dry and boring when I am sober and if she wanted to meet the real me she would have to be with me when my friends are around me. If you wanted to meet the real me on a Clandestine level then J.D must be in the system (you get?). That is all.

She said not bad and that her name was Victoria, she hardly goes out except to see family and Itunu her close friend. She also likes J.D but doesn’t drink much, I was about to say what I would say if I was talking to someone I was really close to (so na me be omuti?). She loves watching football and supports Assnal opps sorry Arsenal. I told her that was obvious, 8 out of every 10 babes support Assnal. She paused and smiled before saying Man Utd sucks and I responded by laughing. She asked why I laughed and I told her if Man Utd sucks and can boast of 10 trophies since Assnal’s last triumph then what would she say about them? She responded saying its a phase jor.

As we journeyed she asked why I wasn’t scared to get into the car and I told her I wasn’t because it was a woman driving. She was like so there are no dangerous women out there, and I was like yeah there are but I had assessed her and I knew if a fight ensued I would beat her (expecting her to take offense). She bursted out in laughter and I was shocked. She saw the expression on my face and asked what was wrong, I told her I was just surprised she laughed instead of taking offense and even kicking me out of her car. She laughed even harder and said I thought you said you were dry and boring. I told her some babes wouldn’t even force a smile out of all I have said. She laughed some more and asked where in V/I I was going. I said I was actually going to Lekki Phase 1 and she was like seems we still have some chatting to do because she was going to the UK Embassy in Lekki. We talked about football taking swipes at Arsene Wenger and David Moyes for lack of transfer activity.

She dropped me in front of my office and as I was about collecting my phone, her phone number and bb pin the alarm sounded again. Damn I had been dreaming all along. It was 7.30am already and I was so going to be late for work.

Thanks for reading guys.

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